Sometimes you can’t make this shit up. In the land of the Wild, Wild West, California’s top shelf tincture of undocumented entrepreneurs, lawyers, brokers and other glorious unique and out of the box souls combusted for another ordinary week of chaos in the newly regulated adult use cannabis mega market.

With California on pace to issue 10,000 licenses by year’s end and thousands of local pending applications across 482 cities and 58 counties patiently awaiting sign offs from multiple local government departments, there is no lack of LMAO OG in the day to day moments of an unregulated world crashing head on into a highly regulated unchartered reality that quite frankly, no one is really prepared to navigate.

Of notable potency this week is a certain strain of honesty and purity that is, if nothing else, organic and funny as f*&k.

So cheers on this Friday! Here’s to the glory of the rise of the regulated. Buckle up buttercup. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Best Due Diligence Responses by Cannabis Operators Across the West Coast

Week of 1/20/2018

Question: Provide / describe your operational policies and procedures on preventing access of cannabis to minors.

Response: Don’t let em in.

(this is a great answer)


Question: Provide / describe your Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for sanitation.

Response: Wear Gloves.

Question: Provide / describe the operation protocols, security procedures and policies and how you prevent theft at your operation.

Response: We have em.


Question: Provide proof of payment of your federal income taxes.

Response: We do everything in cash, we don’t keep receipts.


Question: Provide a copy of your permit, license or other local authorization from the city or county allowing your business operation type.

Response: The city doesn’t know about our operation. They ban it.

(of course the Broker pitch sheet boasted “fully licensed operation, 100% compliant”)

The best is left to last…..

Question: Provide copies of your utility bills for water, electric, sewer and trash at the leased location.

Response: We get our water from hooking up to the grocery store main water line. We get electricity from the music store and we put our trash in the CVS dumpster. So, it’s free to us. We also use the WiFi from the nail place next door.