Authored By: Silvia San Nicolas

When I first started in this business I would listen to attorneys go on about how their last few years had aged them ten and how the ups and downs were so extreme their heads were always spinning, they never sleep and the stress was off the charts.

There was this ‘road hard and put away wet’ air amongst those having the longest tenure, a level of etheric exhaustion that had left the most viral and courageous weathered and worn but somehow still standing ready to take another beating. Sounds like family law I thought, a practice area I ran from 18 years ago that was riddled with ½ true restraining orders, toddlers with PTSD from seeing their parents go at it and trials fueled on pride, revenge and who gets the Elmo bedding set.

How much worse could cannabis law be than that I wondered?

Oh … the glory of wonder. It’s not easy to explain without really experiencing it. Here is a sample morning in the life of a cannabis attorney and you be the judge.

6:00 AM – Skip work out, catch up on last 24 hours of regulatory news updates;

6:30 AM – Cease and Desist served on client A; wait we just got licensed last week. WTF?

6:45 AM – Glitch in the State licensing system, kicking app out; no one at the BCC available.

7:00 AM – 147 emails: 32 news updates, 14 upcoming cannabis events, 9 seminars; 31 compliance questions, mostly from non-clients; 9 emergencies; …haven’t gotten to the rest yet.

7:15 AM – Review A/R balance, send emails to get paid out. Cash, grass or ass people.

7:18 AM – Permits in Anytown, CA on hold because the State hasn’t approved bond language;

7:22 AM – Skip breakfast, skip shower, use dry shampoo. More coffee.

7:24 AM – Employee of client B refuses to allow access to records on random inspection; $30k fine.

8:00 AM – Package courier refuses to deliver package, assumes you are shipping weed.

It’s a vendor check for the love of God and ganja.

8:10 AM – Investor client has 3 new M&A deals, wants closed in 5 days. Yeah, this happens.

8:30 AM – Operator client insists that they can skip social equity requirements and still get priority.

8:45 AM – Clients location is within 600 feet of a school, actually it’s next door to a pre-school.

9:00 AM – Landlord for Client D calls, smell of Mary Jane bothering other tenants, 2nd warning.

9:05 AM – Client D says his mom was in town visiting his location, blames her for the pot smell. /:

9:15 AM – That speaking engagement you wanted to do? Yeah, you got it and it is on Mother’s Day.

9:45 AM – Bank calls, they KYCC’d your deposits and are terminating your accounts; But your bankerwants to know if you can take them to a dispensary and recommend some good edibles.

10 AM – Dad calls, “Why are you representing drug dealers”? Dad, it’s not like that.

10:15AM – Client consult, wants licensure in banned jurisdiction, was raided last night. No money.

10:45 AM – Broker on Deal X demanding more money or he will kill deal; Only deal that will close this week.

11:00 AM – Cancel lunch with mom, eat chips and salsa while reviewing cannabis leases;

11:25 PM – Title report back on purchase of green zone building, not owed by sellers, WTF?

11:30 PM – new consult, bought a LA tax certification from a guy who knew a guy for $30k, sayshe was told he can now open any operation he wants in Los Angeles. OMG.

12:00 PM Your star attorney quits, says he is going to work for Sessions.

PS We love every minute, but make no mistake, this is not for the faint of heart.