When Bryn Spejcher watched the police bodycam footage, she did not recognise the woman she saw.

The 33-year-old saw herself, deranged and frenzied, stabbing her body and then her service dog, Arya, the police having to taser her four times and beating her nine times with a baton — breaking her arm — to make her stop. Then she saw her friend, Chad O’Melia, stabbed 108 times in his home in Thousand Oaks, northwest of Los Angeles, where the two had been hanging out and smoking weed. She had killed him.

“It’s still hard to believe something like this actually happened,” Spejcher said. “I am not a violent person. I would never harm anybody. And I’ve had to learn how to manage those feelings of